Literal Albatross: A Thing by Doug Driesel Jr.: Archive

A Few Notes On Brandy (Who I've Been Told is a...

First of all, and I want to get this out of the way right up front, you can’t fuck the sea. So this sailor is either pirate gay or is a little too into fucking manatees. Either way, Brandy, you have to stop chasing after this loser. He is obviously not in to you. Here’s a test: When you’re having sex, if he is e’en able to achieve a modest erection, does he have you make...

Feb 5th

2 tags

Weekly Newsletter

Ahoy Cats, and the much more feminine “Cattettes.” ‘Tis I, Doug Driesel Jr. Who am I, you might ask. If you do, then shame on you. Get a life. Stop trolling around on stumbleupon and get a day job. The economy’s suffering, and it’s all because you like to read the blogs of random people you find on the internet! And, if you like that sudden harsh turn in dialogue,...

Feb 3rd

15 tags

Magic After Dark

Here’s what a dummy _I_ am. I have started a new show Friday nights at ten o’clock at Magicopolis. Remember the bar show that Erik Tate used to do? Yeah, it’s that, only with a new name (Magic After Dark). That’s not what makes me a dummy, by the by. What makes me a world-class dummy is the fact that I found out I’m doing the show last Friday, and I’m JUST NOW...

Feb 2nd

Jan 20th

Jan 7th

7 tags

Jan 6th

Dec 30th

Watch

I’m here to remind you…

Dec 29th

Dec 28th

Dec 22nd

4 notes

Dec 18th

8 tags

Dec 17th

Dec 8th

Movie Reviews That Miss The Point

500 Days of Summer - I like Ringo Starr, too. That guy from Inception was wrong. Addams Family - M. Bison REALLY likes the French language. The Affairs of Dobie Gillis - I guess Glen Miller was popular. Aliens - Vagina. Astro Boy - A whole lot of people sure did die. Back to the Future - So, how does Doc Brown know Marty, again? Barbarella - That’s a lot of really crappy chroma key. Batman...

Dec 6th

Dec 1st

I’m not a lawyer or anything, but it seems to me that if you shot ANY law official, regardless of rank, that you should retain a lawyer, who would PROBABLY advise you to not author a popular reggae song on the subject. That’s not very irie. - I and I. Doug Driesel Jr.

Nov 18th